I’ve been a member of at least a half dozen dating websites. While they are all professional, relatively safe places to meet people, I have found that results can vary quite a bit depending on your choice. I classify dating sites into two categories: 1) Casual dating sites and 2) Serious, commitment-oriented sites.

Casual Dating Sites I consider casual dating sites to be sites like Match.com, Lavalife, Yahoo Personals, and the like. The basis that makes these sites succeed is the fact that membership is so high, in many cases well into the millions. This does give you lots of opportunities for interaction, but few of them pan out. For example, as a guy, you may find 20 or more women on a site like Match.com whom you are interested in. You can email all of them, and maybe one will respond. As a woman, the opposite will be true. In many cases you will be flooded with contacts from guys.

These sites operate on numbers, and treat dating like a numbers game. It can make your head spin and honestly, after trying a couple of them, I have had enough with this approach. It might be fun for the adventurous and younger crowd, but it wasn’t right for me.

Serious, commitment-oriented sites At the other end of the spectrum are serious sites committed to finding your true love. The most famous among these is eHarmony. The primary difference is that they will select the matches for you, instead of you going out and searching through hundreds of profiles and deciding who to contact. As a result, you will be matched with far fewer people, but each match is more likely to be compatible.

While the casual dating sites are less frustrating at first, since you have many choices on whom to contact, I find that they are ultimately more frustrating because of the fickle nature of the contacts you make. On the other hand, commitment sites are more frustrating at first, because of the relatively few number of contacts, but ultimately more appropriate for people who are looking for a serious relationship.

Which type of site you select depends on your personality and what you are looking for in a dating site. I personally prefer the commitment-oriented sites, but everyone is different so you may need to try a few different sites to find the one that works for you.

Don Weston is a writer who has tried out and tested many different dating sites. His favorite site is eHarmony, to which he has dedicated a blog, called eHarmony Review.

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